A Brand-New World
Milk-stained t-shirts and leaky nipples weren’t on my bingo card for “life as a mom,” especially when I pictured those picture-perfect newborn moments. I imagined a serene, happy baby cuddled up next to me while my partner admired how well I’d handled the delivery. But the reality of motherhood often lands an ice-cold punch when you least expect it.
As moms—especially those of us navigating motherhood without a built-in village of support—it’s easy to feel burnt out and overextended. We ask ourselves: Are we just misinformed? Are we in over our heads? Is it even possible to thrive as a mother without a village? These questions swirl around like riddles that seem impossible to solve.
But here’s the good news: you can solve them, one step at a time, with a little patience and a pinch of hope. Imagine if we approached motherhood the same way we approach learning about a new puppy. When you bring a new pet home, you dive into research, figure out the best ways to care for it, and envision how you’ll adjust your life to welcome this new family member.
So what if you took that same approach, for yourself?
What if you called it like it is? Yes, let’s call a spade a spade! Your life with your new baby, means the version of yourself that existed before having your beautiful bundle of joy is gone, and has made way for a new identity to be claimed! Navigating motherhood must be the focus.
I get it—this might sound like just another piece of well-meaning advice from someone who’s been there. But trust me, I have walked this path five times over. I’ve felt the confusion, self-doubt, and exhaustion that come with each new phase of motherhood. I grew up without a support network, and I had to learn how to adapt to each wave of change life threw at me. Motherhood was no different, and at first, I was drowning. But over the years, I found small, practical habits that helped me not just survive, but thrive.
For example, waking up an hour before my kids, making nightly showers non-negotiable, finding a new hobby, and carving out alone time all became my lifelines. These small shifts allowed me to reclaim my sense of self and approach motherhood with more confidence and joy.
The Burnout Reset Plan
- Waking up an hour before my kids
- Showering before bed every night (non-negotiable)
- Finding a new hobby
- Spending Time away from my kids and spouse (Alone time is a necessity)
- Writing down personal goals
- Prioritizing healthier foods (non-negotiable)
- Being physically active everyday (non-negotiable)
At first, all of these things seemed nearly impossible to include in my day to day life. I’d ask myself, “what good mom has time for herself?”, or “mom burnout is normal and I just have to make it through this phase.” Yet even as I allowed time to lapse, I never felt that relief…that feeling we get when we finally feel like we have a grip on life! As if our lives, are really in our hands and not something to fall victim to.
It was over time that I realized that motherhood doesn’t have to be a death sentence or a somber experience. It truly is whatever we perceive and create it to be. I type this as my 13 and 12 year old entertain my 8, 5 and 1 year old….LOUDLY. But I’ve taught them that just as I invest the best I have in them, I also must return that favor to myself. And yes, I do have to sacrifice small moments with them to do things that make me feel more in tuned with who I am, and the things I’m capable of. Because I want to thrive as all moms deserve to.
So what’s stopping you from letting go of the old you? Let go of the version of you that wasn’t ready for the change that motherhood requires. It’s okay to grieve who you were, but only for a short time. Forgive yourself for not knowing everything, (because no one does), and embrace the new days that lie ahead of you each morning you wake up. Each day is another opportunity to assimilate all of your past experiences, knowledge, and trials into the woman and mother you are capable of if you only give yourself the chance to meet the new you. You’re already there, you just have to welcome yourself in.
If you’re in a hard season, you’re not failing—you’re adjusting. Choose one small habit this week that supports you, and let that be your proof that you’re still here, still growing.
What part of this did you relate to most? Drop it in the comments!